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The Greatest Influence on High School Students

The Greatest Influence on High School Students

An article I just submitted for the Eden Prairie Sun-Current Newspaper.

Our student ministry leadership team is often asking: “Who or what are the greatest influences in the life of a student?”  What prompts students to think, move, or change?  Is it the social media through Twitter or Facebook they find themselves connected to; is it the people they hang out with, music they listen to, shows they watch or the advertisements they are bombarded by?  Simply through the lens of observation and conversation, we feel strongly that we have answers to what two of the top influencers are in the life of a student.

Most of the time parents are still the most significant impact on the life of a young person.  By God’s design, parents have the incredible responsibility and opportunity using God’s Word, the Church and the community around them, to shape, mold, and discipline their children.  Students may not want to admit it but they are greatly influenced by their parents.  It’s clear that the way a family system deals with conflict, handles stress and expresses emotion will have an effect on the children of that home.

Another top influence on the life of a student is… another student.  Students will change their schedule, the way they dress and how they talk based on what other students are doing, wearing and saying.  Some students will transition from one friend group to another taking on the personalality of each group as they move.

At the “Dare to Share” student conference last March we witnessed several students responding to the weekend by sharing their faith with their friends.  Several students shared that they had experienced their friends enter in to a relationship with Jesus Christ as a result of their phone call during “Dare to Share”.

Shortly after “Dare to Share” there was a meeting for Fellowship of Christian Athletes where a handful of students led the meeting and shared personal stories of how a person can enter in to a relationship with Jesus Christ.  They watched 12 friends take that step into a relationship with Jesus Christ.  The results of these two events showed us that a student has an amazing ability to not only influence a student to dress, talk or act a certain way but they have the opportunity to motivate their friends to consider life’s most important decisions.

Churches can maximize the power of both of these powerful influences in the life of students.  If the family system allows for it, an excellent ministry strategy is to come alongside parents as they strive to Biblically disciple their sons or daughters.  It is also important to challenge students to passionately encourage their friends to be influenced through a growing relationship with Jesus Christ which is the greatest influence any of us, young or old, could be moved by.

 

Where would we be without text messages?

I recently became aware of the following website: When Parents Text  It is hilarious, I literally "lol" when I read through the submissions.  See for yourself.

As I was reading through these it made me reflect on how text messages has drastically changed the way I communicate.  

Student Ministry: In student ministry the best way to get the word out to students is to text them.  One of the best things we are subscribed to as a ministry is a service that allows us to send text blasts reminding students, leaders and parents of upcoming or cancelled events.  Text messaging has definitely changed trips and events.

The other thing that has changed is communication to parents in real time.  I grew up in a youth group that was notorious for returning much later than expected from trips.  It was near impossible for our leaders to communicate this change in ETA without cell phones.  Now with students wielding their own cell phones and our use of Twitter, these changes are reaching parents. Some parents don't even anticipate our arrival without a text from their son or daughter.  This definitely takes the pressure off when something does come up on our return trip.

On a few rare occasions I have had a student text their parents when they are dissatisfied with their rooming situation, or a leadership decision that has taken place on a trip.  As a result, I have had a few interesting conversations!

Another way that we have used text messages in the past has been through polling our students.  We have used polleverywhere.com as a way to survey our group in realtime.  We really like how this tool displays results immediately.

Text messages can be a great tool for ministry but it can definitely be a distraction.  We have students and parents who ignore emails and mailings only rely on text messages as the only way to get information. This causes quite a stream of last minute personal text messages leading up to events.  "what time are we leaving?" "what are we supposed to bring?" "can I still sign up?" "what's the promocode?"

Family:  I don't have any text exchanges from my own parents that I can send to whenparentstext.com but text messages have definitely changed the way I communicate with my parents, sister and wife.

Related Posts: TXT MSGS

My personal best of 2010 list.

I have been taking notes on my phone for this post for the past few weeks.  Since 2010 is drawing to a close, I thought that it would be good to reflect on the best parts of the past year.  I'm sure that there are things that I am leaving out but here's what comes to mind first.

Media

Best Movie Watched: Inception - Great story and mind-blowing cinematography.

Album most listened to: Tonight by Toby Mac (I listen to this album every morning as I take my kids to school).  We made sure to tell Toby Mac that we listen to him every day when we met him last month.  I'm hoping he will crank out more records so that I stay sane.

Favorite Book read: The Bible.  This past summer, with God's help, I read through the entire Bible chronologically in 90 days.  This was an amazing experience and one that I recommend for everyone.  This exercise gave me a refreshing view of how all 66 books of Scripture communicate his love for us at the same time it opened my eyes to the things that I don't know about His Word.

Home

Most surprising DIY project tackled: Replacing our Water Heater.  I even received the following accolade for this accomplishment.

New adventure with our kids:  Starting Tae Kwon Do

Travel

Best Family Trip: Spending time in San Diego, California with my parents.

Favorite trip in 2010:  This is by far the easiest to answer.  My wife and I were able to join about a dozen graduating seniors to the Holy Land this past summer.  It was a life-changing experience and I am grateful for the opportunity to go and to share that experience with my wife. 

Greta and I in Capernaum

Web

Most interesting people I follow on twitter: @louiegiglio @pastormark @jeremycowart

People who I wished tweeted more often: @markwarder @leithanderson, @jedculbertson

Favorite thing posted on my facebook wall: Emily Stetzel's comment on Saturday, December 18th - "I had the strangest dream last night that you vomited in my hair. I'm not sure how to transition from that, but I hope you and your wonderful family are doing well! Merry Christmas :-)"

Reason for 6 month break from writing posts on this blog:  I don't have a reason

Most visited websites:  Espn.com, Facebook.com or Yahoo! Fantasy Sports

Other:

Favorite purchase last year:  After much research and saving, Greta and I purchased a new dSLR.  I really look forward to learning how to use it to take great pictures!

Greatest accomplishment: reading through the Bible in 90 days

Favorite ministry moment: baptizing students in the Jordan River.  I can't find words to express what that was like in the midst of an amazing experience of just being there!

Baptizing Jackson Dobies in the Jordan River.  Wow what a privilege!

Some thoughts about Free Stuff

I have observed that most of the time people jump at the opportunity to get free stuff.  And I am definitely one of those people.  This morning we had an email from the Divine Grind Café saying that there were free specialty coffees available to staff from 10:30 -11:15.  I’m pretty sure that everyone in the building (which at this time of the year is pretty sparse) was present to receive their free coffee.

Other times, free things aren't as attractive to people.  Take for instance an event.  I have found myself on event planning teams where we have found ways to completely fund a big outreach event. Our thinking was if we take away the cost obstacle, people will flock to the event like they flock to get their free cup of coffee or free Grand Slam at Denny’s.  My best guess is that people equate the quality of the experience with the amount that they are paying – you get what you pay for.

As Christmas is getting closer, I can’t help but think about those who don’t understand why we are really celebrating this Holiday.  God sent his Son Jesus Christ to pay the ultimate sacrifice so that we can be forgiven for our sins.  Not only do they recognize or understand it but they are walking away from the best free gift that has ever been made available.  Perhaps people view God’s grace as too good to be true.  Or perhaps they have bought the lie that they have to make up for their own mistakes (“you get what you pay for”).  Unfortunately, turning this gift down has eternal consequences.

Oh by the way, the ESV Bible is currently available for free on the Kindle.

 

And you can find some great free stuff here, here and here.

 

Conviction via Twitter about our love for Cell Phones

Like my recent post on profiling facebook friends, I have a pretty eclectic group of people who I follow on Twitter.  About 3 months ago I downloaded Sara Groves latest album "Fireflies and Songs" and instantly enjoyed it.  I really liked doing work at my desk with it in the background.  As a result, I started to follow Sara Groves on Twitter.  Throughout the day I read through my twitter feed on my Palm Pre and its amazing how entertaining and informative this is.  There are numerous times when I find out breaking national or personal news from the people I follow on Twitter.

This statement that I read on my phone last week while at home with the kids playing around me really hit me:

Sara Groves was quoting the author and speaker Don Miller. I imagine that she was at an event where he was speaking.  Regardless, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I couldn't help but realize how tied I am to my phone even when I don't need to be.  I am saddened by my own behavior of modeling to my children that Dad's smartphone is REALLY important.  This made me think back to a series I taught on a few weeks ago to the High School students I minister to about idols.  I defined idols as those things that take the place of first in our lives.  The things that we are constantly thinking about, constantly doing, the thing that we think about when we go to bed and the thing we think about when we wake up. We are created and wired to worship.  If we don't put God in the rightful place of priority in our lives, we will put something in His place.

I am trying to wean myself off the habit of constantly being on my phone which at times means leaving it in the car, another room or off.  This is pretty hard to do.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going cold turkey.  I don't think I could do that until they create a cell phone patch that I could apply.  This exercise is heightening my awareness that I am not alone.  The next time you are at the mall or a restaurant notice how many people are on their cell phone. 

Inspiration via Francis Chan

I like many others am inspired by the ministry of Francis Chan.  I am constantly giving students who need a boost spiritually his book Crazy Love.  I'm currently in a study of his book Forgotten God with one of my volunteer leaders.  One of the things that I like about Francis Chan is his high view of Scripture and God.  There is no doubt that Francis Chan understands that God is far bigger than anything that we can comprehend and that He is far more in love with us than we can know.  I am challenged when Francis Chan exhorts his audience to consider the Church or the Holy Spirit (or whatever he is talking about) in light of what ONLY Scripture tells us about it.  It's astonishing how so many other voices influence our views and convictions about these things!

Recently, I ran across this video clip and I think that it will do a better job illustrating what is inspiring, challenging and refreshing about what God is doing through Francis Chan:

Facebook blast from the past

Allow me to state the obvious, Facebook is quite the current culture phenomenon!

Recently, I have found a number of friends from my days back in elementary school.  I attended a Private Schoolfrom Kindergarten through the 8th grade.  So I have recently reconnected with some friends who I haven't talked to in over 20 years.  Wow, I'm old.  I'm grateful for social networks because I think that without them I might not have ever talked to these friends again.  Recently, I went through my facebook friends and profiled the different categories of friends that I have.  Here you go (in no particular order):

• Former ministry students (Camp Shamineau, Wooddale Church, Prairie Lakes Church, Grace Church)
• Former leaders (Camp Shamineau, Wooddale Church, Prairie Lakes Church, Grace Church)
• Current students (and their siblings)
• Future students (students in middle school who are on their way)
• Parents of former and current students
• current friends (and their spouses)
• current and former co-youthworkers (and their spouses)
• Former co-workers (and their spouses)
• current co-workers (and their spouses)
• former co-workers that I never worked with (people who used to be where I currently work - strange I know)
• High school acquaintances and friends (and their parents)
• College Friends (and their spouses)
• Seminary Friends (and their spouses)
• Family members (including my grandma)
• Former elementary/middle school friends (includes my fifth grade teacher)
• Former and current mentors
• People I admire but hardly know (there are 3 of these)
• Wife's friends (and their spouses)
• People I've met on mission trips - it's amazing how well you get to know someone on a mission trip - seriously!
• Friends of my parents
• speakers/musicians I've booked for retreats/events

I'm sure I missed a category or two.  Thanks Facebook for keeping us connected!

Something that caught my eye at Niketown in Chi-town

A few weeks ago I was in Chicago with my boss doing a preview trip for a 9th Grade trip that we will be taking in June.  While we were walking down Michigan Avenue, we went into the impressive Niketown store.   While we were in there I saw a sign that caught my eye and I've been thinking about what it said for quite a while.

Just in case you cant read the inscription, here's what it says:

In Europe they say you can tell which city

you are in by looking at the church spires.

Here in America, it is much the same; visitors

need only to look to our stadiums - our cathedrals

of sport - to orient themselves.

This is nowhere more true than in Chicago, where

these venerable structures stand not only as

landmarks, but as stone and steel testimonies to the

power of sports.  Like those churches of Europe, each

possesses its own recognizable characteristics. And

like those churches, each is a place of worship.

Niketown Chicago is dedicated to the same

spirit of reverance that built those edifices, and

which moves us to gather together to watch

full-grown adults at play.

The truth communicated by this inscription is eery to me.  I believe that God has wired us to worship 100% of the time.  The question is what is it that we place as the object of that worship.  Unfortunately, it is easy to put other things, events, people in the pace where God deserves to be. 

There is a lot of buzz in the Twin Cities about "Target Field" the brand new outdoor stadium where the Minnesota Twins now play.  I can't help but wonder about this "place of worship".  I don't believe that sport is evil but I have been in a stadium where people are out of their minds in celebrating and cheering for their favorite sport team.  I wonder what would happen if I was as committed to drawing my family, students and self to place their worship/devotion to the only One who is deserving of it as Niketown is committed to sport.

Am I still American if...

I didn't watch Barack Obama appear on Jay Leno?

I get lost watching the show "Lost"?

I don't like baked beans?

I don't consider St. Patrick's Day to be a real holiday?

I filled out a March Madness bracket but haven't watched more than 5 minutes at a time of basketball?

I don't watch "American Idol"?

I don't follow MC Hammer on Twitter?

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I do watch Jack Bauer on Monday nights.  Doesn't that make up for all of the above?!

I dislike fax machines

The only thing fax machines are good for.

I consider myself to be pretty tech savvy.  I enjoy using technology to get work done easier and maximize the work that I am doing.  Sometimes I like it too much.  One piece of technology that I have never liked is fax machines.  Fax machines have never been a technology that I could trust.  I understand the need for them (or I did 15 years ago).  I know that it is helpful when someone needs a document with a signature on it.  I remember the days in college when I would send a fax to my mom through my 28.8 modem to see if she would read through one of my term papers before the days of attaching files to emails.  My biggest issue is the fact that I don't trust that the fax went through until I talk to the person and hear from them that they did in fact receive every page of my fax.  Too many things can go wrong with a fax, the connection could never be established, toner could be out, paper jammed or out, wrong number etc...

This past week we had some families try to register their students for our Senior High Winter Retreat by sending us a fax.  It seemed to go through on their end but our fax machine was down and we didn't receive it.  Typically, this wouldn't be a problem except that we had sold out our retreat and this person would've had their registration in prior to our sellout.  We were able to squeeze her in but it added another chip in my mistrust of fax machines.

Unmixed, Mixed and Remixed

A few weeks ago I heard a sermon delivered by Pastor Clark Crebar, Young Adults Pastor at Grace Church.  I recommend that you listen for yourself.  It gives an excellent exposition of how we are to pray for one another.  There were a number of great things about his sermon.  One thing that he said, that wasn't at all the main point was when he defined the word 'pure'.  In simple form he said that the original word means to be 'unmixed'.  Ever since this sermon, I have been thinking about what being 'unmixed' means for me personally and how I look at ministry.

There are a number of ways that unmixed could be applied to life.  Or, maybe I should say that there a number of ways that I find myself mixed.  My diet, iTunes collection, television watching, family leadership, the weed content of my yard (when its alive), my preference for PC's or Macs...  When I take a hard took at my physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social balance, I see things being mixed.

I think a great tension that I deal with is how to teach and model to students how to be unmixed in some situations and mixed in others.  There are areas where students (and adults for that matter) should strive to be unmixed with the things of this world (sexual immorality, idolatry, gossip, slander...).  And then I feel that there are areas where we should be mixed or to borrow Eugene Peterson's word 'remixed'.  In order to be salt and light, it is of ultimate importance for us to engage in the people and culture of this world.  I think that youthworkers need to teach and model the tension between areas of life that need to be unmixed and areas where a mixture is necessary.  We tend to go to far one way or the other!  This gets us into the whole "being in the world but not of it" discussion.  Jesus' words shed some light:

14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. - John 17:14,15 (NIV)

I currently find myself reading two books talking about this very thing.  The first is Pop Goes the Church: Should the Church Engage Pop Culture and The Fine Line: Reinvisioning the Gap Between Christ and Culture. I haven't finished either book, and I plan on having a 'part 2' to this posting once I do.

Football = Relationships

Has there ever been a better day of Sports for Tampa fans than last Sunday?

Those who know me know that I love professional football.  I'm a nominal basketball and baseball fan.  However, this year I am all over the Rays and their quest for the World Series Championship. 

One of my favorite things about football is how it is tied to relationships.  Among other things, my parents and I enjoy talking about how the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are doing both off-season and on.  I have friends and acquaintances all over the country who are fans of different teams.  Often these loyalties cause us to communicate.  For example, if my team is playing the Washington Redskins, I will talk to my friend from Bethel Seminary, Dave Runion.  If my team is playing the Dallas Cowboys (which they are this weekend), I will be on the phone with the Junior High Pastor, Travis Armstrong.  I have lots of friends who are Chicago Bears fans (Matt Sharp, Dave Nordyke, Kevin DeVries) and others who follow the Packers (Stephanie Armstrong, Dawn Fong, JP Turner).  I could go on and on nearly every team is covered in this, being in Minnesota I have lots of friends who rise and fall with the Vikings (shout out to Ken Reily, my in-laws). These ties allow me to think about my friends when their team is doing well, not so well, when our teams are playing each other, or when they make a gutsy off-season trade.

So, maybe this is my defense for being a football fan, but there are lots of relationships that I am able to continue not because of Facebook, not because of proximity but thanks to the NFL.