Blogelemy

Ice Dams

The past few weeks I have been wrestling with the accumulation of snow on my roof which can result in a pretty serious and costly problem of ice dams.  I have an older roof which is far down on the list of things to replace on our home.  As a result the crazy snow that has stayed on the ground (and my roof) since Christmas has been on my mind - especially when I lay down to go to sleep.

Here are a few things that I have been doing to remedy the problem:

- I've been spreading salt on the problem areas like it's birdseed.  I don't know if this does anything but provide peace of mind. 

- After watching this newscast I got my name on the waiting list at the hardware store and have the ice melt hockey pucks to throw up on the roof.

-I had a friend give me this as a gift which is way more fun to use than it probably should be.  It's like cutting cheese off the roof.  It probably works best if it were done soon after the snow has fallen. 

Last night, as I was thinking (and praying) about the ice on my roof, I started to compare ice dam emergencies to youth ministry.  Most leadership involves problem solving and youth ministry is no different.  Here's what I have so far:

• There are lots of times when youth ministry is lots of fun - sometimes more fun than any other ministry!  Imagine what I looked like using this!
• Sometimes we need to change our methods and keep a watchful eye.  I've lived in this house for 2 years and haven't had to worry about this because the accumulation of snow hasn't been as severe. 
• God's transformation needs to take place internally.  If we just change the external (the accumulation of snow) and neglect the internal (ice) we are only fooling ourselves and will soon have huge problems.  Our true character will show itself!
• One of the most difficult parts of ministry is that you don't get to see the finished product.  You can focus all your energy towards a student but if that student rejects or stiff-arms God they will have to learn the hard way.  Likewise the student who seems to get it, can go to college and throw it all away.
• It is better for us to be proactive in the lives of students.  If they can think about wise choices, Godly influences and a life of worship before they've damaged their relationships then there is so much we can spare them from.  Get the snow off before it ices up!
• You are never really finished.  I could get on my roof and remove all the snow but that doesn't guarantee that I'm done.  The next storm (Wednesday night, Sunday morning, retreat, family crisis) is coming...
• A key ingredient to youth ministry is TRUST  You can't guarantee that everything will be saved simply because of your effort.  Recently, I have found myself in situations where I have been up late at night asking God to do what only He can do because I am at a lost. 

Do you have any other connections of Ice Damming to Youth Ministry or leadership?

What in the World Happened? How I ended up losing my appendix.

I assume that most of the people who read my blog know already through twitter or other means that late on Tuesday night I had an appendectomy.  I thought I would return to writing on my blog after a month and a half by sharing the story of how I ended up on the operating room table.   

On Monday afternoon, I was taking a student out to lunch at Five Guys.  The student needed a ride so I was going to his home to pick him up.  For some strange reason, I got lost trying to find his house.  This was strange because I had been to his home at least two times beforehand.  While I was trying to find his home, I started to feel really sick to my stomach almost to the point where I second-guessed our decision to eat greasy cheeseburgers and shoestring fries.  I finally found his home and decided that it would be worth it to eat at Five Guys even though my chances of getting sick were high.  After we ate, I drove him home and my stomach continued to feel awful.  I asked him something I've never asked anyone.  I asked if he could check to see if he had any Tums to relieve some of the pain I was feeling.  He laughed at me and I told him that I was serious.  He got some and I thought that I was on the road to recovery.

I returned to the office and continued to feel sick to my stomach.  I felt so sick that I went home a little early and had very little to eat for the rest of the day.  I figured that whatever was inside of me would work its way out in its own creative awful way.  That night I felt really weak and I really wasn't able to do much.  I couldn't offer my regular evening wrestling match with my kids and I ended up going to bed early with this consistent ache in my lower abdomen. 

The next morning (Tuesday) I woke up with the same pain in my stomach.  It felt like it was on both the left and right side of me so I wondered if there was something wrong with my bladder or kidneys but I went to work regardless because I had a bunch of things on the calendar that couldn't wait.  I went home again feeling the same abdominal pain that I had the afternoon before.  I had a normal appetite with normal B.M.'s so I started to think that this had something different from a stomach virus.  I decided that it might be a good idea to go to the Urgent Clinic to get an antibiotic for the bladder or kidney infection that I had.  I wanted to get back on my feet as quickly as possible so that I can be back to myself both at home and at work.  At the Urgent Clinic they took blood and urine tests and also an X-ray.  With these tests they were able to rule out that it was not a bladder infection or something with my kidneys.  My white blood cell count was pretty high which gave the doctor an indicator that my body is fighting something and she said it looked like it might be my appendix.  I was shocked that it could be my appendix in that I felt like the pain was on both sides of my body and I didn't feel like the pain was as severe as what I thought appendicitis would be. 

I drove to the hospital and drank a nasty drink so that they could do a CT scan and see if it was in fact appendicitis.  After a couple of hours, the doctor confirmed that it was acute appendicitis.  I thought that since it wasn't extreme that I would be getting an antibiotic and going back home.  She quickly explained to me that with any type of appendicitis they remove the appendix.  I called my wife Greta to let her know what was happening and I barely was able to tell her the news before they were rushing me to surgery.

The surgery was laproscopic, which means it was minimally invasive.  Three small incisions instead of one long "zipper".  I am extremely grateful for that.  It was successful and the surgeon told me that if I would've waited longer there was no doubt that the appendix would've ruptured and the pain would've been far worst.  He also shared that I will be back to my normal self in a week or so.

I am laying in bed now grateful for many things.  I am grateful for God's sovereignty.  He is in control of everything.  While this was a surprise for me, it didn't surprise Him.  I am grateful that my body is healthy and able to heal from this surgery.  I am grateful that the surgery wasn't as invasive as it used to be.  I am grateful for the friends that have helped Greta and I during this unplanned procedure.  I'm grateful that I didn't try to tough it out and wait for this pain to go away on its own.  I'm grateful for the family and friends who have prayed for me during this time.

One person's junk... (3 Stories)

This blog post is at least a month old.  The idea of it has been rattling around in my head for that long and I finally decided to sit down and let it spill out.   One weekend in late April early May, I was working in my yard trying to rid it of all the infestation of dandelion's.  I was using a new tool that I purchased at Home Depot called the Weed Hound.

In addition to this tool, we for the first time, hired a company to come and spray our lawn so that it might be healthier.  One afternoon while I was outside weed hounding, my daughter came outside and wanted to ride her bike, she needed me to walk alongside her for when she gets stuck and needs an extra push.  So, I put the "weed hound" down and walked with her.  She rode to the neighbor's house got off her bike and walked to their yard and started to collect as many "pretty yellow flowers" that her little hands could hold.  She brought her treasure inside so that they could be placed in a vase.  Here the thing that I had spent lots of time and money to remove from my yard was the very thing that brought my daughter joy.

A few days after the story mentioned above, my wife joined in the neighborhood garage sale to sell most of our boy clothes that we had kept over the years.  When our son was born he was the only grandson on both sides of our family and the result was he had warehouses full of clothes and toys.  My wife and mother spent several hours going through these items to prepare them for this sale.  Beyond the baby clothes, we are stumped by how we continually collect so much stuff!  This is our third garage sale in three years.  You would think that we would run out.  My wife was aggressive in advertising on Craigs List what was available for the sale.  As the sale was about to begin, there were several cars waiting for us to open our garage and haul our junk out for them to rifle through.  I gratefully had kid duty for the sale.  This means that I need to keep the kids occupied inside of our house, while mom sells our stuff in the garage.  I was amazed at the steady flow of people coming to purchase the stuff that we could do without.

And finally, our student ministries team a few weeks ago tackled the daunting task of thoroughly cleaning out our storage area.  We did the take everything out and put it all back in.  It took us the better part of two days and almost half a dumpster to contain all of the items that we threw away.  As I was going through this stuff and throwing most of it away, I couldn't help but think of all of the student ministry pastors who preceded me at Grace Church.  The stuff that I saw as trash or worthless at one time was an item that leader thought: "Hey, we might want to keep that we might use it again"  And one day someone will be tossing all of the stuff that I am holding onto.

The moral of the three stories is painfully obvious. 

Another reason I love my job

I love seeing God work to transform people's lives!  You don't have to be a pastor to see this happen but as a Pastor I feel like I get a front row seat to it sometimes.

A week and a half ago, a student stayed after on a Wednesday night to talk with me about the state of his mother and father.  This student painted a vivid picture of a husband and wife who live in the same home but do not act as if they are married.  He shared that he had never seen or heard them fight or argue but could tell that they were no longer “in love”.  He also shared that it seemed that they were going to be getting a divorce sooner than later.  He told me that he had been given a free ticket to the Family Life Conference from another student in his small group whose parents are involved in the leadership of Family Life and that he was going to go home and ask his mom and dad to attend the conference.  Honestly, from the picture he painted earlier in our conversation I thought that there was no way this couple was going to attend something like this.  That’s when it hit me, this is why we need to pray for God to do a miracle in this couple’s life.  This student and I prayed that night for God to do a miracle and have his parents accept the invitation and not only go but be transformed in their relationship. 

That Friday, we got the word that his parents were going to the conference!  I couldn’t believe it!  But I also knew that the time to pray was even more significant.  It was one thing for them to go.  It is a completely different thing for them to be open to change and transformation.  So, after a few phone calls the small group leader and I gathered as many guys from this students’ small group that we could on short notice to come to my home and pray for this husband and wife by name.  It was amazing to see this many guys on a Friday night coming to our home to lift up their friends’ parents up in prayer.  And Glory to God, He has done a work in this couple.  I got a text message from this student last Tuesday night that read: “I can’t believe it.  My parents have had a complete 180.  I’m so happy I can’t even explain it.”

Encouraging Students to Bring their Friends

One of the hardest things in youth ministry is encouraging students to bring their friends.  Case in point, Typically on a Wednesday night we want to provide an atmosphere where students can bring friends but some had shared that with the small group breakouts it is hard to bring a friend who might be uncomfortable with sitting in discussion groups.  They asked if we could do some things that would be set apart as a night where people brought friends.  I really liked this idea! 

So, last night we intentionally hosted a Crave Luau in order to provide an environment where students to bring their friends and have easy next steps for them to enter into the Crave Senior High Ministry community.  Specifically, we shared a trailer to our next series "Gospel Journey Maui"  A few students understood what we were doing and brought new friends, the majority did not.  I talked to a lot of our regular students and asked them, "So, who did you bring?"  Most of them said that they brought the person who comes with them every week (I guess they thought that was funny).  One said that he didn't know about the Luau.  The ironic thing is this same kid won a text message contest a few weeks ago where he had to text this back to us in reverse:

11hcramyadsendewnouaulevarcehtotsdneirfruoyfollagnirb

How did he not know we had a Luau and that this was a night for him to bring his friends to?!

We tried to remove obstacles, pricetags etc. to help students make the sell but for some reason it wasn't compelling enough to our regulars for them to invite their friends.  I try to put myself in these students shoes and I can empathize that their is a lot of risk in asking a friend to something like this.  Most students didn't know how serious we were about THROWING a Luau until they arrived and reacted, "Wow, you guys were serious!"  I can't look at this problem without seeing some glaring holes in how we do things.  We are currently looking at revamping our student leadership (ways that we involve students as the leaders instead of doing everything with adults).  Perhaps if we gave the preparation for this Luau to students, they might've caught the need to invite other friends.

All this to say, after attending today's "Rock the River" launch lunch today, I hope that our ministry can sell the vision for students to take advantage of the opportunity to see thousands experience a changed life through the Good News by not just attending this event themselves but by investing in and inviting their pre-Christian friends.  This will be my prayer for the next several weeks!

A convicting verse... Luke 16:15

Before my wife or I tuck our seven year old son into bed we read a chapter out of the Bible.  This isn't something we have mandated on our son it is something that he has requested and we gratefully oblige.  We recently have been reading the book of Luke.  A few nights ago, I was really tired and going through the motions of getting my son tucked in so that I could move on to myself.  As I was reading the chapter for that night, I read a verse that caused me to stop, cold and think about how my life intersects with it.  Luke 16 starts with the parable of the shrewd  Manager and then Jesus makes a comment to the Pharisees who were there listening thumbing their noses at him:

¹⁵He said to them, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight.  Luke 16:15

This verse caught me in its cross hairs.  I am convicted by the ways that I gain value and purpose from other people rather than seeking God alone.  I am convicted by the things that I value which are consistent with worldly values that clearly God detests.  I am struck by the strong language used to describe the things that are "highly valued among men"!  I am thankful for the Holy Spirits work in not allowing me to just read the words on the page but to see where I can improve and mature.

Unmixed, Mixed and Remixed

A few weeks ago I heard a sermon delivered by Pastor Clark Crebar, Young Adults Pastor at Grace Church.  I recommend that you listen for yourself.  It gives an excellent exposition of how we are to pray for one another.  There were a number of great things about his sermon.  One thing that he said, that wasn't at all the main point was when he defined the word 'pure'.  In simple form he said that the original word means to be 'unmixed'.  Ever since this sermon, I have been thinking about what being 'unmixed' means for me personally and how I look at ministry.

There are a number of ways that unmixed could be applied to life.  Or, maybe I should say that there a number of ways that I find myself mixed.  My diet, iTunes collection, television watching, family leadership, the weed content of my yard (when its alive), my preference for PC's or Macs...  When I take a hard took at my physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social balance, I see things being mixed.

I think a great tension that I deal with is how to teach and model to students how to be unmixed in some situations and mixed in others.  There are areas where students (and adults for that matter) should strive to be unmixed with the things of this world (sexual immorality, idolatry, gossip, slander...).  And then I feel that there are areas where we should be mixed or to borrow Eugene Peterson's word 'remixed'.  In order to be salt and light, it is of ultimate importance for us to engage in the people and culture of this world.  I think that youthworkers need to teach and model the tension between areas of life that need to be unmixed and areas where a mixture is necessary.  We tend to go to far one way or the other!  This gets us into the whole "being in the world but not of it" discussion.  Jesus' words shed some light:

14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. - John 17:14,15 (NIV)

I currently find myself reading two books talking about this very thing.  The first is Pop Goes the Church: Should the Church Engage Pop Culture and The Fine Line: Reinvisioning the Gap Between Christ and Culture. I haven't finished either book, and I plan on having a 'part 2' to this posting once I do.

Slogans the Church should adopt (and some they should flee from)...

This Christmas season I have a heightened sensitivity of the variety of different messages that are marketed to me (and you) on a daily basis.  I have been pondering these through the lens of what the Church strives to be, compared to what it was called to be.  Before you go any further, I don't want to pretend to be able to find a secular marketing slogan that will capture everything that Christ established the Church to be.  Rather, I am embarrassed to admit the number of times, I have as a youth pastor sent some of the messages below in an effort to further the Kingdom:

The following is the slogan that I have been pondering for several weeks (it's the inspiration for the blog post you are reading):

Imagine how ministry would look if the Church looked at ministry this way.  Instead of come to our programs so we can do it for you, what if we equipped people and created an environment and culture whereby they take the Great Commission upon themselves.  This is a gut check for me and how I "program" ministry.  As we turn a new year, I desire to focus on taking ministry from a spectator sport to "all hands on deck". 

I can hear the Triune God saying to me "You can do it. We can help".

What REALLY makes me want to change?

Last night in the Senior High Ministry we kicked off our "Advance" theme for the summer.  It was a push to not take this summer as a break or  kick our relationship with God into cruise control.  Rather, the challenge was actually to 'advance' in our relationship with God with the summer time afforded to us.

In the midst of thinking through this summer theme, and preparing the first installment of teaching.  I had a internal crisis as I realized the obvious fact that I could talk and motivate towards "advancing" all I want but if no one in the room really wants to advance it isn't going to happen.  I can't make someone change!  So this left me with the question, "What causes a person to want to advance?"  I came up with two major ways this happens.  The first way that I'm motivated towards change is through inspiration.  We can be inspired through movies that we see or influential people that cross our path. Another change agent is our own disappointment with self.  If we are able to take a good look at ourselves and see things that we may not like, we can be motivated towards change.

Knowing that my list probably wasn't complete, I asked the students what other things motivate them to change.  Their answers were great.  Here are a few that I could remember:

Passion
Knowing that I need to represent Christ to the lost
Pride
Jealousy
Satisfaction from being in the Word
Joy
Affirmation from Parents
Fear
Desire not to waste our lives

I don't think that I am done wrestling with this.  I think it hits a fundamental issue that Pastors and Teachers face.  They can create a compelling talk to motivate change but unless the Holy Spirit prompts a person towards change, the presentation is just words.

Answering Criticism

Let’s say you took a poll to find out how many people have faced criticism in some form or another at some time in their lives. Since criticism is faced by nearly everyone, chances are you would find that at least 99.9% have faced criticism of some kind. It is easy to think of times when your family, parents, friends, employers, co-workers or even strangers have criticized you. It is even likely that you have criticized yourself in some way. Though criticism can be positive or negative, criticism is negative the majority of the time and not a thrill to receive. In the midst of criticism, there are times when it is necessary to answer and there are times when it is better to just listen.

How can we effectively answer the criticism that we face from other people? In 1 Samuel 17, David was criticized three times. Each time he did something different to cope with the criticism that he faced. When his brother Eliab (v. 28) criticized him, he considered the person criticizing and questioned his motives. When we are criticized we need to consider the person who is criticizing us. We also need to be willing to talk about it with that person. The second time that David was criticized (v. 33) was when Saul told him that he was not capable of doing what he claimed he could do (defeat Goliath). David explained his case by giving Saul examples of times when he had done what he was claiming that he could do. When we are criticized we need to listen and share our side. And the third time David was criticized (v. 43) took place when Goliath made fun of David and criticized him for the single purpose of making him feel bad. David considered the source and told him what he knew to be true. When we are criticized we need to consider where the criticism is coming from and remember God’s true promises. 

The next time that you are criticized, answer the criticism by following the examples set by David. Consider who it is that is criticizing you, listen to what they are saying, consider what their motives may be, give reasons why you don’t agree with them and tell the person what you know to be true. Allow the confidence that comes from being in the family of God be the source of your self-worth.